


Insomnia

by piratenrat



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:40:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26197285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/piratenrat/pseuds/piratenrat
Summary: Julian is having nightmares.
Relationships: Julian Bashir/Elim Garak
Kudos: 21





	Insomnia

Insomnia

He had a nightmare again. At last Julian managed to fall asleep, and after half an hour there he was, sitting on his bed, breathing heavily and trying to calm himself down. It's been two weeks since he and Garak were held captives at the Dominion camp, and he still couldn't get at least some hours of decent sleep. It wasn't like any soldier story where he couldn't get over things that happened to him. Actually, it wasn't about nightmares at all. Julian could live with a nightmare. What he couldn't live with was a constant overwhelming feeling unsafe. Wherever he went, he couldn't relax, something inside of him anticipated the worst and told him to get ready for it. 

A hypo with a sedative strong enough to provide him some rest seemed almost like a good idea, but in case of emergency there wasn't another doctor on the station, and he knew that very well. He couldn't risk the well-being of his patients even if it would cost him a sleep he desperately needed. So the plan was simple: as soon as his shift is over, Julian gets to his quarters and tries to relax and fall asleep at least for a couple of hours. Plan as ineffective as simple, but right now it was the best Julian could afford. 

A doorbell rang. Julian sighed and went to the door. At this moment he wouldn't appreciate a company, even though he didn't manage to fall asleep. He opened the door. It was Garak.  
Julian was surprised. He expected Jadzia or Miles, but he certainly didn't consider the possibility of seeing Garak at the door of his quarters at this hour. Julian didn't want a company, that's true, but Garak was not just another visitor. He was there. He knew what Julian went through. 

— Come in — he said, stepping away and giving Garak some place. Garak looked at his dressing gown.  
— I'm sorry, Doctor. I didn't mean to disturb you.  
— It's alright. I couldn't sleep anyway.  
— I thought so.  
— Could you?

Garak laughed. — My dear Doctor, I don't want to diminish things we've been through, but being a member of the Obsidian order, I've seen a few unpleasant places. Actually, compared to them, you would call our little establishment rather a guesthouse than a prison. So yes. I could sleep. Why couldn't you? Ah, let me guess. Nightmares? 

Julian nodded. — Partially.   
— Then there's more?   
— Well, nightmares are alright. Unpleasant - perhaps, but I could control them. What I can't control is a tension, a constant emotional pressure. I can't get to sleep because I don't feel safe, but if I manage to fall asleep, I have a nightmare. It seems like I'll never get any rest at all. 

— Unsafe then, — Garak reflected. For a man like him it was a well-known thing, a feeling that almost defines his nature. A good operative never is too sure about himself and his actions, he always takes precautions, being one step ahead of whatever can threaten him. Though, he was familiar with feeling safe, either. He felt safe when the Romulan shuttle left the station and he knew that now the death of the ambassador was only a matter of hours. He felt safe when Julian managed to take the wire out of his head and he realized he wasn't addicted anymore. He also felt safe in childhood when his father... ah. Funny, but maybe this is what Julian needs right now. Garak smiled. 

— You didn't listen to me, did you? - he heard somewhat irritated Julian's voice  
— No. - Garak admitted. - But I may have a way of helping you.   
— Really?   
— I'll sing you a lullaby.  
— A what? — It was a rather unexpected proposal, to say the least. A middle-aged member of the most dangerous institution Cardassia ever seen, singing him a lullaby. Quite a show! Julian laughed. — Garak, this is ridiculous. 

Garak raised his eyeridge.   
— And may I ask you why? You've tried some other ways, haven't you? What's so bad about this one? 

Julian didn’t find anything to say.  
— Alright, alright. Lullaby it is. 

Garak sang. A deep magnificent voice softly drove Julian away from the station, from the war, from his fears. The song itself wasn't anything like the earth ones. It was strange, exciting and beautiful in its own way. Julian didn't understand the words, but the tune gave him a feeling of a pleasant anxiety, and somehow it felt relaxing. "Very cardassian" - he thought. He felt Garak putting his hand at his shoulder. For a brief moment he felt perfectly safe. The next thing he knew, Garak was going away, apparently thinking that Julian fell asleep. 

Julian raised at his elbow  
— Garak, could you stay?   
Garak looked back  
— Really, Doctor, it's late, and I...   
— Please.   
— All right, then. 

It was an easy one. No arguments, no excuses, just an "all right, then", and here Garak was, replicating a particularly ugly t-shirt and getting ready to sleep.  
Julian moved to the edge of the bed, leaving some place for Garak. He lied down and turned on his side, covering himself with a thin blanket.   
A few minutes passed, and Julian felt Garak putting a hand at his waist, somewhat a hesitant gesture, as if he couldn't decide if it was appropriate to do so. Julian didn't say anything, just put his hand at Garak's. It was the only answer Garak needed. Julian was asleep in a few minutes. 

Garak woke up early, replicated some tarkalean tea and gladly got rid of his t-shirt, which truly was an offense to any tailor of standing. Julian might want to talk about all this, he thought. A nasty human habit, talking. They talk much more than they should, as if discussing something could really change the way things are. But talking it is, if Julian insists. 

Surprisingly, he didn't. Julian behaved in almost a cardassian way, when he woke up. Actually, he said nothing at all on the subject, as if having a member of the obsidian order singing him lullabies and then sleeping in his own bed was nothing more than an ordinary thing. Garak was intrigued. Julian grinned, but didn't talk much. He finished his tea, took a tricorder and made his way to the door, but then stopped and turned to Garak. "Ah", he thought. "Here it is. Talking." 

— Garak, — Julian said  
— Yes?  
— Thank you for the tea. Very nice of you. — He turned around and went through the door.   
Garak smiled. There was a hope for his Doctor yet, after all.


End file.
